Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Here Come The Mummies

I have a gorgeously demented chart of Supernatural Collective Nouns.  A few divine examples include:  A persuasion of prophets, a bureau of molemen, a ruminance of bigfeet...the chart is really quite something to behold. And so too are mummies.

In case you ever happen upon a large group of them (as one does), they would be called a liberty. I was fortunate enough to come into contact with a liberty of mummies this past weekend. This is our journey.

I've been in the music business for 20+ years and I will tell you emphatically that Here Come The Mummies are one of the most enthralling, outrageously fun and thoroughly entertaining bands I have ever seen.

Their sound is definitely their own but I picked up an electrifying mix of influential flavors that harken back to P-Funk, Cameo, Earth Wind & Fire, Kool & The Gang,  Tower Of Power, Nash The Slash, Player, The Doobie Brothers, LRB, Mothers Finest, The Mystical Knights Of The Oingo Boingo, James Brown & even a sweet dash of Sublime....which is also an adjective I would use to describe the experience of catching not one but two of their live shows.

These particular mummies are Nashvillains and they have been grinding out the wicked funky goodness since the early aughts which was enraging to discover because how am I only just finding them? Thanks to House Of Blues Dallas for the tweet and turning me on to this sensational group.

 (drawing by Ian Leino)

To catch up with all that I had missed....I spent the past two weeks in hot devil mode laying down on all their super cool music, flapping arms wildly and absorbing every single beat, rhythm, nuance & lyric. I was determined to be ready for their show and when the time came I'm proud to report I sang and danced my guts out with all the other passionate mummy acolytes.

I KNEW the show was going to be good based on what I had seen on yt. But their show in Dallas surpassed even my wildest expectations and was so good that I decided to hit the road and drive four hours to see them again in Houston.

Thank you to Garrett their manager who hooked me up with a free pair of tickets. A cherished and treasured gift for which I will be eternally grateful.

After my first mummy I went apeshit on social media and my bff, who has been off the grid for a few weeks, came back and asked "what the hell are all these mummies in my feed?" What can I say when I love... I love big and without fear or inhibition.

Here Come The Mummies fill my music loving heart in a way that previously only Prince could. That is the highest compliment I can give them. They are first and foremost passionate and dedicated musicians. Artists so in tune with their craft and talent it is impossible to tell where the artist stops and the instrument begins. They have fused together in a way that borders on magic. The staggering amount of work they must do behind the scenes is visible and audible in their wildly entertaining live shows.

Did I mention they are dirty? Yes they are literally and lyrically. This too is a compliment.

If you say the words "kinda lingers" really fast it sounds like something completely different and rather delightful. PS chewing gum for an hour a day is great exercise and will mitigate the lockjaw discussed forthwith.

Mummies are lovers. Mummies are frisky. Mummies lyrics are hilariously risque.  They have a song all about pants, the live performance of which drove the crowd to rapture from the very opening riff. The cheers when the song started were, for this author, augmented by a question from the nearest drunk guy who asked "wait...are the mummies cumming? IN THEIR PANTS?"

Chortling into my ample cleavage I gently reminded him of  the band's moniker. I watched  in awe as the hamster on the wheel inside of his head slowly caught its breath. Then the drunk guy's eyes lit up and he raised his beer and warbled "FUCK YEAH!"

I will always remember my first mummy. The show begins with a drumline that enters thru the crowd and it was an exciting taste of the fun to come...hmmm inadvertent pun. Mummies are infectious. Now I have the sickness.

The mummies first song My Party sets the stage and tone for the show which at the outset is devoted entirely to celebrating all y'all freaks. PROTIP:  If you don't know any... guess what chicken butt? The freak is probably you and that is cool AF. Welcome home little one.

"You're free to be a freak among freaks."

Their song Friction is so tantalizing, thick and creamy it should be served warm on toast. It is a must for your sexy time playlist because "thrust is a must" and friction is basically all thrust.

And THAT BEAT!!! That beat is so deep it should come with a condom or it might just get you pregnant.

The sparks literally flew in this song and the mummies have some wicked dark lords whose sole job is to basically whip the floor like a naughty lover. The effect of it is intoxicating and mesmerizing.

Booty. Oh Booty. This song is my anthem, probably because I am highly blessed. The mummies smack their own butts during this song and that spectacle is worth its weight in gauze. I love it when The Flu falls to his knees to pray for the booty...LMAO Amen.

I LOVED Underground too another sick sexy af beat and I felt a little like a drunk cobra standing there swooning over the multiple hypnotic horn solos

Triple Double is another fave because witnessing a liberty of mummies running amok all over the stage is always a scream.


Forgive my camera brainfart and behold the glory of the magical mystical musical mummy journey, I am enchanted, entranced and smitten with his incandescent  joie de vivre

Before I go any further on the music I want to take the time to applaud the HCTM lighting designer. They are as much an artist and star of this show as the band members basking under, above and within it.

The lighting was hypnotic &  transcendent.

Every song had a mood and even the beats within each song would frequently be a lighting cue.

The lighting took what would have been a great concert and made it a spectacular theatrical wunderkind.

This ties into the literal filth I mentioned earlier. The gray, black and brown make up on their pockets of exposed skin gives them that freshly dug up sex appeal that you crave in your garden variety mummy. And the costumes take that a step further. The dark spots with what I can only describe as a graveyard dirt effect on their perfectly tattered wrappings are balanced by sporadic bright white strips which catch and reflect the lights in ways that give the mummies a positively supernatural glow throughout the show.

The stunning lighting, stage design, costumes, & choreography in conjunction with the electrifying music were what took this way beyond a mere concert experience and deep into the realm of  performance art. The impact was thunderous and eternal.

I've been frustrated by the occasional odd critic on yt & in my Twitter mentions who dismisses the costumes as a "gimmick" saying they are not necessary for artists who are clearly very good at what they do. Conveniently contrarian criticism like this is willfully obtuse and misses what makes HCTM so unique and separates them from other talent in a beautiful and profound way. And p the fuck s what is wrong w a gimmick if it works? KISS had a hell of a run and so have many others like Daft Punk, Slipknot, Marilyn Manson, Alice Cooper, King Diamond, Hatebeak, Mac Sabbath, GWAR, Kraftwerk & some guy named David Bowie. Ultimately it's all about the music and for the mummies their talent is sacrosanct & irrefutable.

The mummies bring with them a show that fully engages their fans with an inventive mind/body experience. So along with the stunning and super tight musical performance the mummies go one step beyond and deliver an enticing and thoroughly addictive visual spectacle. A performance so different and so fun that it flips a switch, lights up your mind and inspires powerful and innate creative forces. Doubt my word? Look at all these photos. I am not a photographer. My pictures usually come out grainy and totally worthless. These HCTM images from Dallas and Houston are from a run of the mill cellphone and I honestly have no idea what I did right. When I talk about mummy magic I mean it.

Even off stage the mummies are working hard.  The mummies merch booth was a cut above the rest. I go to hundreds of shows and the merch situation is always a little maniacal and harum scarum. It is typical at a show to find the merch booth run by a curt, harried scruffy guy who pulls stuff out of dirty, bent boxes haphazardly laying around all over the floor. And if a shirt or jacket is involved there is usually a struggle and an excavation process to find the size you want.

Here Come The Mummies have one of the most organized merch booths I have ever seen with a carefully presented table display of cds freak flags and other swag. And their band tshirts which are available in every size  are folded and placed in their own special cubby.

A post shared by Here Come The Mummies (@hctmummies) on

There is a creative, thoughtful and detail oriented mind at work behind the scenes at mummies headquarters. No detail is too small for these mummies to tend to which should tell you a lot about how they feel about their fans. They must love and respect us passionately to go as hard and as far as they do. So if you are a mummy who finds this review by happenstance, thank you. The love and respect is mutual.

Finding Here Come The Mummies has been such a blessing for my wounded aching heart. Prince's death hit hard and deep. His loss brought a pain I had never experienced before and getting past it seemed impossible. Here Come The Mummies music lifted up my shattered soul and reminded me there is a way to keep going. That the best way to remember Prince is by connecting with other free spirited artists who lived as he did...by making real music with real musicians.

That a group of mummies is collectively known as a liberty is fitting because this particular unbridled fearless batch bring with them a music, an energy, a creativity, a passion & a showmanship that will surely set you free.